DO YOU FEEL LIKE A POSER OR AN IMPOSTER

Confident, strong, courageous, fearless, adequate, loving, intelligent, God-fearing, kind, giving, and competent are words that I would love to use to describe myself. But, usually, those aren’t the ones that I say to myself. Instead, mine is generally filled with doubt and anxiety over not measuring up to the bar I set for myself. Can anyone else relate to this?

Inadequate is how I usually feel, and so many people feel this way that there are a couple of terms used to describe this feeling. It is called the Imposter Syndrome, or as the younger kids call it, a “poser.” These terms refer to how we view ourselves as we try to navigate life. It might look like we know what we are doing, but we feel like we are failing inside.

Probably the first time that I felt like an imposter was when my son was born. Looking down at his tiny little face, I worried that I was inadequate and had no idea how to be a mother. I’d read all the books, but when faced with the reality of raising a child, I was terrified.

My son turned out to be an amazing young man, and he now has exceptional children of his own. He survived, and I did the best that I could to be a good mother. Once again, can anyone else relate to this?

I see other mothers who seem like they have it all together, but I bet they have felt the same way. We tend to think the worst-case scenario, pick ourselves apart, and put a lot of pressure on ourselves that doesn’t need to be there. Why do we do that???

This past week, I randomly did an Instagram story about going to the hairdresser. I must have been feeling a little inadequate about my blogging abilities because, in the end, I asked, “why do you follow me?”

I’m not sure why I did that; I didn’t want a pat on the shoulder; I was just curious why someone would want to follow me. I don’t know what I am doing, I fly by the seat on my pants, and I feel like a poser when it comes to this arena.

When the comments started coming in, I was amazed at how many women said that I had made a difference in their lives. I didn’t expect that; I was overwhelmed and amazed that anyone felt like that. It made me feel amazing and extremely grateful that the Lord had given me this platform. I had let the enemy seep into my thoughts instead of remembering who I was.

Psalm 139:14

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Isaiah 64:8

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Ephesians 2:10

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I am God’s creation, His daughter, and I have a purpose. He is my maker, and I am not an imposter or a poser. The Lord formed me in my mother’s womb, He breathed life into me, and He watches over me every second of the day. With the Lord as my Father, why would I ever doubt His creation?

After all, the lovely and uplifting comments I received, I went back on my stories to thank everyone. I also wanted to give them a challenge, and I am extending this challenge to you also. I am calling it my Jar to Bucket Challenge.

This is not like the Ice bucket challenge that went around several years ago. I don’t want anyone dumping buckets of ice water over your head. Instead, I want you to start with a jar, and hopefully, we will work up to needing a bucket.

Every time that someone gives you a compliment, no matter how small, I want you to write it on a piece of paper. Make sure that you date the paper and put who complimented you. Here is an example:

10-10-2021 – “The cashier at Target told me that I had a beautiful smile.”

One, this will make you more aware of the smallest compliments that we sometimes shrug off. Two, writing down the compliment tells your brain that you have a beautiful smile, and you will believe it. Three, since you are thinking about compliments, you will GIVE more compliments to others. This will spread lots of joy and happiness everywhere you go. And, four, on days when you are feeling like a poser or an imposter, you can grab a few slips from the jar and remember who you are and who made you!

Song of Songs 4:7

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

So, today, grab a jar and make it your compliment jar. Then, today, give out 5-10 compliments to people you meet and watch their eyes light up. It will become addicting!

To God Goes The Glory!

Have A Blessed Day!

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  1. Diane Schulert wrote:

    Thank you for what you wrote–as a cancer survivor X 2, I often feel inadequate because I graduated at age 35 from college with a 3.96 GPA summa cum laude,and I was accepted by 5 of the 6 graduate schools I applied to for my doctoral degree,then had to cancel it all when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. After treatment I was too tired to go on to grad school, so I decided it was my last chance to try and get pregnant again–I had a miscarriage right before I started college. Shortly into the pregnancy, I called my doctor c/o low grade fever. My doc ordered me to the hospital if it continued over the weekend–which it did. We went to the ER, and they withdrew one vial of blood and knew something was seriously wrong. They wanted to admit me–I wanted to go home and crawl under my bed and hide. Later that week docs told my family the breast cancer had metasticized to my brain. I slipped into a coma, and was transferred to Karmanos Cancer Institute with a fever of 105 degrees–they didn’t want me to die at their hospital. It ended up that I had Acute Myelogenous Leukemia FROM the breast cancer. When I woke up from the coma, I found out I had lost our baby :(( so incredibly sad,…but I had to learn to walk again and to write my name. Talk about tough! And I was soooo young–36! Now I’m 55 and we adopted an infant girl from Vietnam at 7 months old, who has just been delightful to raise until the moment she turned 13! Now she’s almost 15 yo, diagnosed with Fibromyalgia due to emotional stuff manifesting itself physically, and we just withdrew her from her first year of high school for medical leave to enroll her in University of Michigan’s Pain Program. So, anyway, life has become challenging for me again–only this time I’m not fighting cancer–I’m fighting FOR my TEENZILLA (loving nickname). I feel so inadequate as a parent right now, even a failure I daresay,…we brought this child to the other side of the world, hoping she would experience a family–and she did, but she’s so unhappy now that she’s going through the process of “individuation” according to her therapist,…and I am at a loss as what to do, but I reassure myself that our Father is writing her story, and we are here to support and cheer her on to victory and better health,…

    Posted 10.20.21 Reply
  2. Pamela wrote:

    Thank you for this message today I needed to hear it in my soul.

    Posted 10.17.21 Reply
  3. Angie C wrote:

    Just beautiful Tania! Thank you for your uplifting words. I love your blog…you are so relatable in so many ways in my life, as well as not feeling alone in our thoughts! Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    Posted 10.11.21 Reply
  4. Rose wrote:

    Thank you for your powerful words for the Lord. God does use you, and it is the light of Christ in you that draws me to your blog…and I like your style!

    Here is a favourate song of mine, that I would like to share with you. Ties in with how we touch lives and we may never know until heaven. That is what you are doing, so thank you.

    Posted 10.10.21 Reply
  5. Paula Norvell wrote:

    Tania, I LOVE reading your blog everyday! But today it felt like you were speaking straight to my heart. Thank you for being open and transparent and vulnerable. I read another article today that urged “Be mindful of what you are saying to yourself. Be good to you!” God bless you!

    Posted 10.10.21 Reply
    • Tania wrote:

      Yes, Paula, I agree that we need to be aware of what we say to ourselves. Our thoughts become our reality!

      Posted 10.10.21 Reply
  6. Nancy B. wrote:

    Tania, I don’t use Instagram so I wasn’t aware of your story you posted there. However, I always look forward to your posts. I’m in awe of what you do and how you do it. You make it look easy ( I know it can be challenging) . You share so much with us and I thank you for that. You have helped me and others more than you realize. There is a quote that comes to mind ( I don’t know the author), it goes something like this, “someday you will be life changing to someone faraway.” That is you!! Know this.

    Posted 10.10.21 Reply
    • Tania wrote:

      Nancy, that quote is so moving! The sweet comments bring tears to my eyes, you never know how you are touching people as you go through your day.

      Posted 10.10.21 Reply
  7. Linda wrote:

    Tania, I have just discovered your blog and I am so grateful. Thank you for the post today. We all feel inadequate at times. Thank you for the gentle and positive encouragement. Thank you for the fashion advice as well. Thank you for being real and relatable.

    Posted 10.10.21 Reply
    • Tania wrote:

      Linda, I am glad that you find my posts helpful. I am not sure if I’ve ever been described as gentle, but I love it!

      Posted 10.10.21 Reply
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