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I’m a Control Freak Who Realizes I Have No Control

I’m a control freak! There, I admitted it out loud and for all to see. My husband has been telling me this for years, but I shushed him and told him he was wrong. Now, many years later, I’m having to admit that he might have been right.

If you’ve followed me since the beginning, you know that I was VERY involved with my local General Federation of Women’s Club. I’ve served as Chairman of many committees, on every level on the board, including President for two years, and even on the District and State levels. Some of the ladies in the club had a nickname for me, which meant that I was a dictator who demanded control over everything. They laughed and joked about it at the time, but in looking back, they probably meant what they were saying.

When we held an event, I wanted things done in a certain way. Decorating the town, Christmas Tree, or event hall would drive me nuts if I wasn’t the one in charge. Even when my kids were young and decorated the tree, I would move ornaments around after they went to bed to help the tree “look” more presentable. I’m not sure who I was making it presentable for since our family was the only one who would be seeing it.

As the blog grew, it consumed more and more of my time to the point I was going to have to give up some things in my life. I had to step down from committees, go off the boards, and quit traveling to state events. Letting go of some of the events that I had been in charge of for years was harder than you think. I would see things the new person was doing, and it took all of my willpower to keep my mouth shut and not get involved.

One day, my sister and I were talking about a couple of upcoming trips we were going on. She was going to India, and I was going to Alaska to visit my daughter. Neither one of us like flying, and we were talking about how it is scary to put your life in control of someone you don’t know.  I had no control over who was flying the plane, who had repaired or worked on the plane, where those people had been, or who got on the plane with me. Then, my younger sister pointed out that flying was no different from anything else that I did in my life. She said that I actually didn’t have control of ANYTHING in my life, but I was just under an illusion of control.

At first, I thought she was wrong. After all, I can control what I choose to eat for lunch. But can I really? Can I control the weather that allows the food to grow and be harvested? Can I control the grocery stores that decide what foods to put out for me to buy? What happens if the electricity goes off and ruins all the food in my refrigerator? Can I control the electric company?

At least I can control what I write on my blog, right? Umm, what if Google doesn’t show my content to anyone? What if WordPress decides to kick me off its platform?

The truth is…we really don’t have control over much of anything. If you dig deep enough, you’ll soon realize that we are all dependent on someone or something. However, this doesn’t have to be concerning; instead, it can be liberating. Since I’m not in control of hardly anything, then why worry? If none of us are in control, then you might wonder who is. This is where the good news comes in…the LORD is in control! And, honestly, I would much rather know that the Lord was in control than me.

Psalm 103:19

19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.

Daniel 4:35

35 All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heaven And among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand Or say to Him, “What have You done?”

Psalms 115:3

But our God is in heaven; He does whatever He pleases.

This doesn’t mean we throw up our hands and do nothing. What it means is that the Lord will guide us, provide for us, and light our way. We need to believe, have faith, follow His promptings, and get out of God’s way. Quit trying to wrestle the controls out of His hands; He’s got this!!!

To God Goes The Glory!

Have A Blessed Day!

 

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77 Comments

  1. I absolutely appreciate your post. You give different insight and clothing options gift ideas, make up ideas etc. and sometimes we just get caught stuck in our every day norm. And you help us with different ideas and I appreciate it. Thank you!

  2. Tania,
    Thank you for this message. I, too, am a control freak. Just today, while decorating my front porch for Christmas, I wanted it to be my way. I didn’t want any suggestions from others. I’m now rethinking the suggestions.
    THANK YOU!

  3. So true and I’m so glad God has everything under His control and He loves us and wants what is best for us! Thank you for this reminder!

  4. Danny Gokey sings a great song about this titled “If You Ain’t In It”. Some of the lyrics include. “I don’t want to have my way, I don’t want to run this thing if you ain’t in it”

  5. Isn’t that the truth! I have problems with this also, I’ve had to relax my expectations to the point that I have no expectations. Things “after” Covid really changed, not enough staffing in restaurants or shops so the lines and wait times are longer, and simple things you used to do now are stressful. Well, maybe it’s just me?

  6. So, so true!
    Thank you for sharing – hits home for those of us who can relate. And who can’t !
    As we get older, I think it hits home in whole new ways.
    So great to empower each other w God’s word and promises.

    Thank you!!

  7. Great message! I have to be reminded all the time that God is in control of everything and not me! When I do it is very liberating. But why do we want to take control back? Lol! God is working on me everyday to let go.
    I really enjoy these uplifting posts. God bless you and yours

  8. Tania, this is my first time leaving a comment. I started reading your bog post before going to church but realized the time and decided to come back to it later. Today’s message at church was about whether we truly believe when we say “God’s got this,” “God is in control.” Do we mean it when we say it?! Our pastor took us to Psalms, Daniel and a couple of other books. Then I got home and resumed emails. Image my pleasant surprise to receive His confirmation of the message I was suppose to receive today. Today, you wrote about the illusion of control and how we can choose to respond to control. Today, my pastor preached about understanding His control, His will and not our will. I just wanted to thank you for being a vessel of His message for me today.

  9. Thank you for your article on control. I think we all realize Who is in control when we experience difficulties and trials in our lives and can’t do anything to change things. Then we realize Who is in control and PRAY!

  10. I love your Sunday blogs! Including scripture and sharing the Lord Jesus Christ is so uplifting! Happy Sunday❤️🤗🙏🏻

  11. If God can forgive all my sins and make me whole He can do anything! That’s why we need to realize he’s the pilot and we’re the passengers ❤️

  12. I have a wonderful illustration that depicts control..I can’t figure out how to upload an image? Needless to say, we can control how we respond to life’s challenges!

  13. I am a bit of control freak! And letting go has been hard but since I retired I’m starting to let go and actually I’m starting to relax more! Though sometimes the control part of me does read it’s head!

  14. This topic has my name all over it. Thank you for the reminders about our Lord is in control over EVERYTHING, including the person behind the wheel of our vehicle when I’m the passenger. I just thought of the saying, Let Go Let God.

  15. My Ladybug Friends and I were just talking about this exact subject last night. We each know in our hearts that God’s got this, but we are mommas too❤️ and sometimes our heads like to get involved and try to control what is rightfully God’s responsibility.
    I thoroughly enjoyed this blog and passed it along to my family.

  16. Your blog today was a wonderful read before heading to my church service. Your perspective puts my mind in the right place. Many thanks.

  17. I especially love that you include a Bible verse every day. We need more people to shine God’s light!

  18. I would love to say that I don’t have any issue with control, but I know that wouldn’t be true! God is the one in control!
    Thank you for your honesty. Very refreshing!

  19. It is so refreshing to see a posting taking about God 😊 especially in the current culture ( I’m a new subscriber). I appreciate it so much!!!!

    Thank you for the reminder that we need to rely in God and that he knows what’s best for us as we don’t have a complete picture of our life.

  20. So true. I still struggle with this. Surrender and try again. Thank you for sharing your struggles with us.

  21. What a great reminder that we need to let God have each and every part of our lives! He can handle it so much better than I ever imagined or planned.

  22. As someone who always wants to be in control, this really hit home for me! Thanks, Tania, for sharing your story. To God goes the glory, indeed!

  23. Such true words. I had to smile at your list of things you are not in control of when you fly- that’s my list that I pray over every time I travel! We are surely part of a sisterhood, Tania. Thank you again for your real life message each Sunday.

  24. Beautiful post today. We need to put all our trust and worries in the lord. And thank him for all the blessings do have. 💕🎄💕

  25. I love this reminder that God controls everything. We just need to get out of His way and watch Him act. It’s especially hard to stop trying to control every detail at Christmas. Thanks!

  26. Thanks be to God that He is in control!! I am also a recovering control freak. After being a Manager in my corporate career for 45 years, it is hard to relinquish the duties of being in charge. It is when we step back and let go of the reins that we truly understand that we have never had that much control anyway!! Thanking God that he never lets us down!!

  27. Control is also a force that interferes with our ability to surrender (to others and yes, to God). I have learned the difference between controlling and self-control—now if I could just do better at …oh yeah @ self-controlling my mouth, my weight, my selfishness . It’s a process. Thank you Lord for standing by me, guiding me and showing me your mercy everyday!

  28. I am a control freak too and like things done my way. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was I had absolutely no control when my parents health began to decline. What I was reminded of during this time over and over again was that God was always there with me each step of the way and reminding me that He is in control.

  29. I feel like all the years of raising our children, I was very much a control freak. I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom while my husband worked extensively to support our family. It wasn’t necessarily the easiest role for me to be the home monitor but someone had to do it. I grew up, matured and took on more responsibility out of need. I credit my children for teaching me to always be more.
    Now today, my need to control is not there but I value what those years taught me.
    My faith has always provided and reinforced the importance of stepping up, taking charge when life demands it.

  30. Thank you for this post! Exactly what I needed to hear, as someone who feels the need to control things.
    Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

  31. Yes! I am a bit of a control freak myself. I am trying to let go and enjoy myself more. Thank you for your posts!

  32. This resonates strongly for me. I have to remind myself often that I have no control and that God is in charge. Thank you so much for reminding me again today. Have a great week, Tania!

  33. Tania, this is a very powerful message and one that resonated close to home. I’ve always felt the need to be in control. Not so much to be sure it was done the best way or correctly, but in my chaotic mind I just needed to be control to be sure it was in fact done. I’ve since let it go and let God. I so enjoy your messages and fashion tips! Thanks for all you do.

  34. My control has always been fashion. This is one reason why I love your fashion post. From an early age I always liked clothing and shoes. I have to everything to look a certain way. When I was a teenager I wound never wear sneakers or a hat that would mess up my hair. I never go out unless I have makeup on. My husband tries to get me to throw something on quick and not worry about it, but I don’t know how to do that, lol. I could on and on but I am my own control freak when it comes to myself. The good thing that comes from it is I am a giver and donate a lot of clothing every year.

  35. You described me! I have to do the same as you did, but it’s very hard. Thanks for this good advice.

  36. Great post. I can be a control freak too. My husband says the same thing as you have, hand it to God. But I still struggle with this at times.

  37. Tania, I so enjoyed your article this morning. It is so true. God Bless you sweetie and enjoy ea day as a Blessing as I am learning too. BG

  38. Love reading your post and scriptures every day and Sundays. Thank you for being an example and sharing your faith.

  39. I can so relate to your need for control. And like you, once I realized I wasn’t in control, but He was, I felt free and relieved. I can barely control myself. 😉 With Christ in control of my life, I know his ways are better than mine.
    Have a great day and week. Thanks for your blog posts!

  40. Beautiful message. I myself am a bit of a control freak, so this message really hit home.
    I so enjoy your tips and words of encouragement daily.

    Thank you so much for all you do.

    Valerie Duke

  41. Feel the same although maybe not to the degree that you do. As I get older find it is easier to let go.

    Beverly Fraley

  42. Amen! We truly don’t have control over anything outside of ourselves, so why do we still worry and fret? Because we want control! Once I surrender my ego and focus on Him, I have peace. I have to remind myself of this daily.