How to Trust God When You Don’t Understand Why

Last week, I talked about one of the things I don’t want to hear Jesus say: “Did I not tell you?” That post was about trusting Jesus when hope feels like it has already packed its bags and left the building.

Apparently, my mind is still thinking about things I don’t want to hear from the Lord, because I have another one this week: “Because I said so.”

Now, those four little words can stir up some childhood memories in a hurry. I don’t know about you, but when my mom said, “Because I said so,” that meant the discussion was over. Finished. Done. No appeals court. No second opinion. No asking my sister to plead my case.

And let me tell you, I did not love that answer.

When “Because I Said So” Was the Whole Explanation

For the most part, I was a pretty good child. I didn’t get into a lot of trouble, although I definitely had my moments.

There was one time when I was about five years old and wanted to visit my friend who lived across the street. This wasn’t a quiet little subdivision road with kids riding bikes and neighbors waving from the porch. We lived on a busy main highway, and crossing that road by myself was absolutely not allowed.

But I wanted to see my friend. So, my five-year-old self made an executive decision, and I crossed the road.

I made it safely to her house, but when her mom saw me standing there, she wanted to know who had brought me over. Once she realized I had crossed that highway all by myself, she marched me right back home to my very unpleased mother.

I don’t remember every word my mom said, but I do remember the general theme: “Don’t you EVER do that again.”

My little brain could not understand the danger. I just knew I wanted to go see my friend, and I had done it without getting hurt. So I started asking questions.

Why can’t I cross the road by myself?
Why can’t I go see my friend?
Why are you being so mean to me?

Finally, in complete exasperation, my mom said, “Because I said so!”

Sometimes Love Sounds Like “No”

My mom must have liked that explanation because she used it a lot while I was growing up.

When I wanted to go to a concert, and she said I was too young, I asked why.
When I was fourteen and wanted to go on a car date, I asked why.
When I could drive, and my friends asked me to take them home from practice, I asked why she wouldn’t let me.

And more than once, the answer was, “Because I said so.”

That answer always left me frustrated and confused. I wanted details. I wanted a full report. I wanted her to explain herself in a way that satisfied my teenage brain, which, let’s be honest, probably wasn’t going to happen. Teenage brains are not exactly known for their wisdom and careful judgment. Mine was probably too busy thinking about lip gloss and what I was going to wear the next day.

Looking back, I can now see what I couldn’t see then. My mother wasn’t trying to ruin my life. She wasn’t trying to keep me from having fun. She wasn’t just being difficult.

She loved me.

She saw dangers I didn’t see. She understood consequences I hadn’t lived long enough to recognize. She knew that some roads were too dangerous to cross alone, some situations were not wise, and some “fun” could turn into regret in a hurry.

I needed to trust her judgment, but instead, I pouted and thought, “You’re so mean.” Bless my heart. And hers.

When We Ask God Why

How many times do we do the same thing with God?

Life does not always go the way we planned. Sometimes it feels like we are doing our best, praying hard, showing up, trying to be faithful, and then something happens that knocks the wind right out of us.

And the first word out of our mouth is often, “Why?”

Why did my friend cut me out of her life?
Why can’t my friend have children?
Why did my loved one have to die?
Why did that tragedy happen?
Why is my business struggling?
Why did I lose my job?
Why is my marriage hurting?
Why did this door close?
Why did You allow this?

Your questions might look different than mine, but I imagine we’ve all had a few “why” prayers.

And I don’t think the Lord is offended by our questions. He already knows what is in our hearts. There are times when I’m not even sure I’m expecting an answer. I’m just hurting, confused, tired, or scared, and I need to bring it to Him instead of carrying it around like an overstuffed tote bag.

But eventually, I have to come back to this truth: God sees what I cannot see.

Trusting God When You Don’t Understand

Just like my mom saw the danger in that busy highway, the Lord sees what is ahead of us. He sees the full picture when we only see one tiny corner. He knows what He is protecting us from, what He is preparing us for, and what He is working together in ways we may not understand right now.

That does not mean life will always make sense. It does not mean hard things won’t happen. It does not mean we won’t grieve, cry, worry, or wonder what in the world God is doing.

But faith is not trusting God only when we understand Him. Faith is trusting God because we know His heart.

My mom’s “because I said so” came from a place of love and protection. God’s ways also come from love, but His love is perfect. His wisdom is perfect. His timing is perfect, even when I would personally like to suggest He hurry it along a little bit.

When I am pleading, whining, and asking why, these five verses help steady my heart.

Bible Verses for When Life Doesn’t Make Sense

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)
⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Psalms 112:7 (NIV)
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Isaiah 12:2 (NIV)
² Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”

Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

I may never know the answers to every question I ask. Honestly, there are some things on this side of Heaven that probably won’t make sense to me, no matter how many times I turn them over in my mind.

But I do know this: God is good. He is faithful. He is loving. He is not confused, surprised, overwhelmed, or scrambling to come up with a backup plan.

When my mom said, “Because I said so,” I didn’t always understand her reasoning, but I can look back now and see that she was trying to protect me.

When God doesn’t explain the why, I can still trust His heart.

That doesn’t mean I won’t have questions. It doesn’t mean I won’t cry, worry, or occasionally act like my five-year-old self standing there with my hands on my hips, trying to negotiate with someone who clearly knows better than I do.

But faith asks me to trust Him even when I don’t understand Him.

If He says wait, I can wait.
If He says no, I can trust that His no is not rejection.
If He says go, I can take the next step.

And if the only answer I seem to hear is, “Because I said so,” then I can rest in knowing that the One who said so loves me more than I can imagine.

His will is not always easy to understand, but His character is always worth trusting.

To GOD Goes The Glory!

Have A Blessed Day!

Let’s End With A Prayer

Lord, thank You for loving me even when I question, worry, and want answers You have not given me yet. Help me trust You when life does not make sense. Remind me that Your ways are higher than mine, and Your plans are always rooted in love, wisdom, and goodness.

Give me peace when I don’t understand the why. Give me patience when I am waiting. Give me courage when You ask me to take the next step. And when I am tempted to lean on my own understanding, gently pull my heart back to You.

I may not always know what You are doing, but I know who You are. You are faithful, loving, good, and trustworthy.