What Does Love Your Neighbor As Yourself Really Mean?

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a Bible verse (read the posts here) that my sister said she had read many times before, but one day it suddenly hit her differently. Isn’t it funny how that happens? You can read the same verse for years, nod your head, and think, “Yes, I know this one,” and then one day the Lord shines a light on a part you somehow missed.

That exact thing happened to me this week, and it was with a verse I have heard for years.

I’m pretty sure almost everyone reading this has heard these verses from Matthew.

The Greatest Commandment

Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)
³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Every time I have read these verses, I have always focused on the “love your neighbor” part.

Who is my neighbor?
How am I supposed to love them?
What if I don’t know them?
What if I don’t particularly like them?

Let’s be honest, loving some people comes naturally. Loving others can feel like trying to fold a fitted sheet. You know it is possible because someone somewhere claims they can do it, but you’re not convinced. Lol.

But this time, when I read that verse, a different part stood out to me.

“As yourself.”

What If Loving Yourself Is The Hard Part?

Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself, and I think I have always assumed that everyone naturally loves themselves. But what if they don’t?

What if the person reading this smiles at everyone else, encourages everyone else, forgives everyone else, and then turns around and is terribly hard on herself?

What if she is filled with regret?
What if she doesn’t like the choices she made?
What if she looks back at her past and thinks, “How could God really love me after that?”

That is where this verse stopped me in my tracks.

Because if we don’t understand God’s love for us, if we don’t believe we are forgiven, redeemed, and cherished by Him, then loving others can become difficult. We can’t easily pour out what we refuse to receive.

The Voice That Accuses Us

For me, I struggle with forgiving myself for things in the past. I know the Lord has forgiven me, but sometimes I still have trouble letting those things go.

There is a voice that likes to whisper, “God wouldn’t really love you if He knew everything you’ve done.”

But that voice is a liar.

That same voice was with Jesus in the wilderness. That voice was with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. And that voice still shows up today, trying to accuse, shame, and separate us from the Lord.

That voice wants us focused on our failures instead of God’s grace.

And let me tell you, shame is a terrible houseguest. It moves in, makes a mess, eats all the snacks, and then convinces you it belongs there. It does not.

The Voice That Tells The Truth

There is another voice, and that is the one we need to listen to. The Holy Spirit does not speak shame over us. He speaks truth.

He reminds us of who God is and who we are in Him.
He reminds us that we are loved.
He reminds us that we are forgiven.
He reminds us that we are not beyond the reach of God’s grace.

The enemy wants to destroy us, but the Lord wants to redeem us.
The enemy wants us to hide, but the Lord invites us to come close.
The enemy wants us to believe our past is stronger than God’s mercy, but Scripture tells us something very different.

Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

Romans 8:31-39 (NIV)
³¹ What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ³² Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? ³³ Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. ³⁴ Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

³⁵ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

That passage in Romans is one of the strongest reminders in Scripture that God’s love is not fragile.

It does not come and go depending on our mood, our mistakes, our past, or how well we performed this week. God’s love is steady. It is faithful. It is not hanging by a thread every time we mess up.

That is good news because, Gurls, I can mess up before I’ve even finished my first cup of coffee. Joe probably has a running list somewhere, although I hope he keeps that to himself. Lol.

But seriously, when we keep replaying the past over and over, we are acting like our sin is more powerful than God’s forgiveness. That is a hard truth, but it is one I need to hear.

Jesus did not go to the cross so we could keep dragging our shame around like an old suitcase with a broken wheel.

He died to set us free.

Loving Yourself Does Not Mean Thinking Too Highly Of Yourself

Now, let me be clear. Loving yourself does not mean becoming prideful, selfish, or thinking the world revolves around you. We all know someone like that, and if you don’t, bless your heart, you’ve been living a peaceful life. Lol.

Biblical self-love is not arrogance.

It is agreeing with what God says about you.
It is believing that if God calls you forgiven, you don’t have to keep calling yourself guilty.
It is believing that if God says you are loved, you don’t have to keep acting like you are barely tolerated.
It is believing that if Jesus paid the price for your sins, you don’t have to keep trying to pay for them yourself.

That is where a lot of us get stuck.

We would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves. If my daughter Ashleigh came to me carrying shame over something she had already taken to the Lord, I would never say, “Well, you probably should just keep beating yourself up about that for the next twenty years.”

Of course not. I would hug her, remind her of God’s grace, and tell her to walk in the freedom Jesus already gave her.

So why is it so hard to tell ourselves the same thing?

We Love Better When We Receive God’s Love First

When Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself, I don’t think He meant for us to skip over the “as yourself” part.

If we are harsh, unforgiving, critical, and impatient with ourselves, that can spill over into the way we treat other people.

But when we truly understand that God has loved us with mercy, patience, kindness, and forgiveness, we start to see others through that same lens.

We become quicker to offer grace because we know how badly we need it.
We become slower to judge because we know our own hearts are not spotless.
We become more patient because we know the Lord has been patient with us.

Loving our neighbor does not mean approving of everything someone does. It does not mean pretending wrong is right. It does not mean becoming a doormat.

It means we remember that every person we meet is someone Jesus died for.

Even the difficult ones.
Even the ones who get on our last nerve.
Even the ones who park their buggy sideways in the grocery aisle and block the entire cereal section. Yes, even them. The Lord is still working on me, Gurls.

Listen To The Voice Of Truth

The voice in your head may try to accuse you, but the voice of the Holy Spirit will always lead you back to truth.

One voice says, “You are too far gone.”
God says, “You are redeemed.”

One voice says, “You should be ashamed.”
God says, “You are forgiven.”

One voice says, “You are unlovable.”
God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

We have to be careful which voice we give authority to.

The enemy will always try to make us focus on what we’ve done. The Lord invites us to focus on what Jesus has done.

And what Jesus has done is enough.

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

So, yes, we should love our neighbors.

We should be kind, patient, generous, forgiving, and compassionate. We should look for ways to serve others and reflect the love of Christ in how we live.

But maybe today, we also need to pause and ask ourselves this question:

Am I receiving God’s love for myself?

Not just believing it in theory.
Not just saying the right words.
But truly receiving it.

Because when we know we are loved by God, forgiven by God, and held by God, that love begins to overflow.

And when it overflows, it reaches our families, our friends, our church, our communities, and yes, even the neighbor who may be a little harder to love.

God’s love was never meant to stop with us. It was meant to flow through us. But first, we have to stop refusing the very love He is trying to give.

To God Goes The Glory!

Have A Blessed Day!

Let’s End With A Prayer

Lord, thank You for loving us with a love that never fails. Thank You for forgiving us, redeeming us, and calling us Your own. Help us to stop listening to the voice of shame and start listening to Your voice of truth.

Teach us to receive Your love, not just for others, but for ourselves too. Remind us that we are not defined by our past, our mistakes, or our regrets. We are defined by Jesus.

Help us love our neighbors with patience, kindness, grace, and compassion. Let Your love fill our hearts so fully that it spills over into the lives of the people around us.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.