You Are Set Apart For A Reason
Last week, my Sunday post was about tests. The testing that the Lord might put us through to grow spiritually and personally. Some tests work on our character, attitude, compassion, and empathy. Other tests can work on things you might struggle with, and for me, it is strength. I’m not talking about the kind of strength needed to lift weights, but the kind of strength it takes when you are set apart.
Maybe some of my shy readers can understand what I’m talking about. I don’t like going anywhere by myself. I prefer to have a friend along to talk to, and it is even better if that friend is outgoing. They have no problem talking to everyone and asking all the questions I’m too shy to ask, and people gravitate to them like flies.
Being Set Apart Is Not Fun
For some reason, I don’t think the Lord wants that for me. I’ve had a couple of great friends in my life. The ones that you can call every day and talk to for hours on the phone. “Want to go grab lunch?” “How about going to get a mani-pedi?” “Feel like going shopping?” Yes, yes, and yes!!!
For reasons beyond my control, each friend has been taken from my life. Each time, I have grieved, and each time, I’ve been left with an empty spot in my life. Every time I saw an FB post of my friends going to lunch, shopping, or taking trips without me, the pain would once again be fresh.
I cried more tears than I can remember, and I asked the Lord over and over why this always happened. At that time, it never occurred to me that He could be trying to teach me a lesson. One that I’ve resisted with all my heart and one that has been in place for many years. It seems like the longer you resist, the longer the test will continue.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.
I know the Lord hears me, I know He loves me, and I don’t think this is a punishment. It is a life lesson that I am slowly coming to terms with. Do I like it…NO! But I’m finding out that I am stronger than I thought. I have learned to lean into the Lord for strength. He doesn’t forsake me, no matter the circumstances.
Over the years, I have also grown personally. I can now get my mani-pedi without a friend next to me. Shopping obviously isn’t an issue for me any longer, and I’ve even traveled on a plane all by myself. Even with all the gains I’ve made, I still felt like David, lonely and troubled.
The Gifts Of Being Set Apart
Recently, I read a devotional about being set apart. I had been looking at my alone time as a time-out. I felt like I was sitting in a corner, away from everyone else who was laughing and having a good time. Maybe laughing and having a good time was the issue; maybe I was being set apart from everyone for a reason.
Yesterday, I spent my time searching for the gifts I’ve received from being set apart. I know I’ve grown in ways I never would have if I had always leaned on a friend to navigate things for me. I’ve been able to put lots of time and effort into my business that I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I am starting to appreciate time alone, especially on my back porch, listening to the birds chirp and the occasional deer that wander through the yard.
I feel like the Lord has set me apart, and I’m still learning all the reasons why. The best part…I’ve been set apart – not set aside!
To GOD Goes The Glory!
Have A Blessed Day!
Dear Tania, I couldn’t help but giggle – just a little….what I really wanted to do is give you a big hug and say, “sometimes they don’t want to be friends with such a pretty girl”…that’s the momma bear coming out in me but just from what we are all able to see from your wonderful Sunday blogs, I haven’t a doubt that you are an amazing friend and I think many of us will be praying you find eachother sooner than later. What a dear you are. If you were closer to Indiana, I believe everyone in our small group would be raising their hands saying “choose me please”!
Glenda, that made me giggle just a little too. 🥰️
Hi Tania ,
I always enjoy your Sunday posts. Being set apart is something I can relate to and have been feeling recently. After my husband passed away in 2018 my daughter and her husband wanted me to live with them. So here I am after living most of my life in small towns living in a high rise, downtown Atlanta. I feel set aside . I have given up so many things moving here especially being with friends and other family members I am close to. But I also have many blessings I would not have if I lived alone.
The first gift that popped my mind was seeing my Grandchildren every day. I am sure that I will find many I have many other gifts as I continue to search. Thank you Tania and God bless you.
I’m glad you are enjoying living with you daughter’s family. It is a special man that let’s his MIL move in with him.
Thank you, Tania, for this perspective and for sharing your heart. May the Lord bless you with a close friend, and with His presence when you feel loneliness. 🩷
Beautiful post. At our age I find it difficult to make friends, not acquaintances, friends! But I always cherish the memories I have had with those I was blessed with. I dust the memories off once and a while to remind myself that everything has a season.
I have felt set apart for most of my life even with 4 great friends. I know how you feel. God shows me how strong He wants me to be. Keep trusting in him.
Tania, I’ve always believed that god puts people in and out of our lives for reasons only he knows . He has a plan of what he wants us to do while we are here on earth, we are here to serve and teach his love . It is sometimes crazy, sad, and the fear is overwhelming for us . I believe he is leading us to reflect on the lesson , to learn and move on to the next task ever stronger!
I also believe friends are one of the hardest tasks . They are either annuals or perennials .
Im 63 and disabled . I have been very lonely since I retired early . Many of my work friends and good friends have moved on without me and have not included me like before . Now i can say after all the hurt and loneliness, im okay with just me and realized my perennial friends are my family and husband , and god . Those are the blessings ! Big hugs
Erin, that is a great way to look at friends.
Thank you for this article! I don’t mind spending time alone, when I’m at work I feel like I’m excluded because of being a follower of Jesus Christ. Everybody’s out partying and looks like they are having fun. But I am reminded by the father we are peculiar people and set apart. So I will keep seeking and listening to what God has for me. Which is way better than what the world can offer.
I needed this so much today. Thank you. My two closest friends moved far away the same year my mother passed. Be grateful you have a spouse and large family. I am thankful for my two adult children but they have their own lives. My extended family is very small and not local. Making new friends at our age can be tough!
Allison, that’s how I feel too. My family is spread apart, and my children have their own lives. I try not to intrude upon that, but I love it when we all get together.
Thank you for your post today. It caused me to ponder and think about things differently. Keep up the good work.
thanks for the post today. truly God has a plan for each of us. blessings always