You Are Set Apart For A Reason
Last week, my Sunday post was about tests. The testing that the Lord might put us through to grow spiritually and personally. Some tests work on our character, attitude, compassion, and empathy. Other tests can work on things you might struggle with, and for me, it is strength. I’m not talking about the kind of strength needed to lift weights, but the kind of strength it takes when you are set apart.
Maybe some of my shy readers can understand what I’m talking about. I don’t like going anywhere by myself. I prefer to have a friend along to talk to, and it is even better if that friend is outgoing. They have no problem talking to everyone and asking all the questions I’m too shy to ask, and people gravitate to them like flies.
Being Set Apart Is Not Fun
For some reason, I don’t think the Lord wants that for me. I’ve had a couple of great friends in my life. The ones that you can call every day and talk to for hours on the phone. “Want to go grab lunch?” “How about going to get a mani-pedi?” “Feel like going shopping?” Yes, yes, and yes!!!
For reasons beyond my control, each friend has been taken from my life. Each time, I have grieved, and each time, I’ve been left with an empty spot in my life. Every time I saw an FB post of my friends going to lunch, shopping, or taking trips without me, the pain would once again be fresh.
I cried more tears than I can remember, and I asked the Lord over and over why this always happened. At that time, it never occurred to me that He could be trying to teach me a lesson. One that I’ve resisted with all my heart and one that has been in place for many years. It seems like the longer you resist, the longer the test will continue.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.
I know the Lord hears me, I know He loves me, and I don’t think this is a punishment. It is a life lesson that I am slowly coming to terms with. Do I like it…NO! But I’m finding out that I am stronger than I thought. I have learned to lean into the Lord for strength. He doesn’t forsake me, no matter the circumstances.
Over the years, I have also grown personally. I can now get my mani-pedi without a friend next to me. Shopping obviously isn’t an issue for me any longer, and I’ve even traveled on a plane all by myself. Even with all the gains I’ve made, I still felt like David, lonely and troubled.
The Gifts Of Being Set Apart
Recently, I read a devotional about being set apart. I had been looking at my alone time as a time-out. I felt like I was sitting in a corner, away from everyone else who was laughing and having a good time. Maybe laughing and having a good time was the issue; maybe I was being set apart from everyone for a reason.
Yesterday, I spent my time searching for the gifts I’ve received from being set apart. I know I’ve grown in ways I never would have if I had always leaned on a friend to navigate things for me. I’ve been able to put lots of time and effort into my business that I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I am starting to appreciate time alone, especially on my back porch, listening to the birds chirp and the occasional deer that wander through the yard.
I feel like the Lord has set me apart, and I’m still learning all the reasons why. The best part…I’ve been set apart – not set aside!
To GOD Goes The Glory!
Have A Blessed Day!
Tania, thanks for your heartfelt posting today. In reading all the responses, I see that it resonated with many, including myself. I also had a best friend who I did everything with in our school days. We don’t see each other that much but we are still friends, just not best friends – my husband of 42 years holds that role. Although a challenge when I was younger, I have become more independent through the years. I no longer seek others to accompany me the way I used to, nor seek approval from them; it’s not a winning game. I feel that I have become more self sufficient in my life which has helped me grow as a person and succeed in many work and academic pursuits which I may not have done if I always sought support from others.
It sounds like you are blessed with a close relationship with your family which is something special. I agree that it’s hard to make new friends as one grows older but find it’s easier to have acquaintances that one can talk to on occasion.
You should be proud of the work you are doing to bring some joy to others by sharing your love of fashion for our age group. It’s truly appreciated and always a joy to read. Many thanks, Tania.
Thanks, Elizabeth. I appreciate your perspective. I know that I’ve been allowed to touch many women, and for that I’m am so thankful.
Thank you for sharing this personal message with us. It’s making me take a close look at myself and see if there are changes I need to make and/or things that I need to accept.
Really great insight and thoughts Tania. We have to be leaders sometimes and be responsible for ourselves. I have found it troubling when friends leave my life, but as one of my lifelong friends said, “they don’t need you anymore”. Hurts but true. Thankfully I have a few really good friends and lots of “acquaintance-type friends”. I’m ok with that.
This really touched my heart. Thank you.
What a marvelous post! I am one of those shy and introverted women who struggle to make meaningful friendships. I have acquaintances with whom I play cards or bunco but only a couple of friends that I am really comfortable with and can have a real conversation. One just passed away a few months ago and one just moved back north to be nearer to family as she and her husband age. So that leaves me alone … again. I am encouraged to see so many on this blog that experience the same thing. It helps me to accept that I may be set apart, not rejected.
I am blessed that our tiny family — son, daugther-in-law, and beautiful granddaughter live just 10 minutes away and we have a loving relationship. After all the moving across the country that we and our son have done, this is truly a miracle and we are very grateful.
Thank you for opening your heart to us and encouraging us to draw closer to our Father and enjoy being set apart.
I alway really enjoy your posts but particularly the Sunday ones.
In this season as well . Last one of my 5 kids is leaving for college. Had a child or someone to care for , for the last 29 years! God has a plan for me in this next season and your post is so helpful in easing my anxiety. Thank you for sharing your heart!
All change is hard. We like routines we know, and changing them is scary.
Thank you for your post. I have moved to Houston from Southern California. All my friends are away from me. I have thought this many times reading Facebook and seeing my friends get together. I have been back to So Cal a few times and meet up with them. I pray that I may find a friend or friends in my new location but have been hesitant to wander out. I am able to go out and do things on my own. I enjoy museums, parks and walks alone. I picked up a new hobby of target shooting for women to find new friends. Your post makes me realize that God will provide in his time and that this time is for me and Him to become reacquainted.
Thank you for your post.
One of the fascinating realities I’ve faced as I’ve aged is that through all the twists, turns, and events that have made up my life, I can now see God’s presence all along, including on all those self-imposed and unwise detours I’ve taken. All those times I asked “Why?” I can now see the answers. When I made a decision that I know He wasn’t pleased with, instead of abandoning me, He walked with me and nudged me toward making the best of it. I shake my head now at how I made my path zigzagged instead of straight. At the end of that path is my Lord laughing and shaking his head lovingly, waiting for me to join Him in the next life. Thank you for sharing your life, Tania.
Wow today’s post really resonates with me. I needed to hear this!