WHAT IS THE COST FOR BEING KIND
A couple of weeks ago, I messaged an acquaintance/friend and mentioned that I was out shopping and asked what she was up to. When she messaged back, her reply was short, curt, and not exactly friendly. I brushed it off and messaged back some helpful information that I thought she would like to know. Her response was, “good to know.”
With so much going on in the world at this time, why would something so minor bother me? My acquaintance/friend was not mean, she was polite, and she did at least message me back instead of ignoring me. So, why, two weeks later, is this small message thread on my mind?
When my daughter first moved to Alaska, she experienced similar situations. She said that the people she met were polite but not very friendly. I’ve found myself saying that recently when I’ve ventured out into this new community and tried to strike up conversations with other women. So far, they have been polite but not friendly.
When this happens, I leave the conversation feeling deflated. It feels like they are saying, “you’re not important,” or “you’re not worthy of my attention.” Either way, I feel almost like crying.
Luke 6:31
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Have we all become so busy, so hurried, so wrapped up in our own world that we forget how to be kind? Having a simple conversation, which is a two-way dialogue, is not hard or time-consuming. Most of us can spare a few minutes of our day to respond and at least “act” genuinely interested.
There are times when I find myself so wrapped up in what I’m doing that I feel myself not being fully engaged with the person I’m talking to. When I catch this, I will lay down my phone or shut my computer and try to give my attention to them. But, how many times have I been so wrapped up in my world that I gave someone the impression that they weren’t important?
1 Chronicles 19:2
2 David thought, “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father.
The good news is that we can change everything in the blink of an eye. If kindness is what we want, we should be showing kindness to others. If we are looking for friendly conversations, we should have that kind of conversation with others. Kindness is addictive, and when it is shown to you, you want to pass it on to others.
So, what is the cost of being kind? Nothing, it is free! It will only cost you a few minutes of your time, but it could make a huge difference in the person you are sitting with. Unless you are someone who bills by the hour, then it will cost you a lot. Lol!
To God Goes The Glory!
Have A Blessed Day!
P.S. I just saw you had a Be Kind picture at the beginning of your post! I was going to add that I feel the way you do about curt text responses. Maybe I’m too wordy (obviously) but I always craft a friendly response. The one I hate the most is “OK” to a text I have written in the past to people. It hurts my feelings as well.
Lol! Christine, we don’t ever need to talk on the phone, I’m wordy too, and I talk for hours.
I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing that! I would talk with you! I always make conversation with people and some respond and others don’t. We have lived 21 years in the Minneapolis area. The saying up here in “Minnesota Nice” but I rarely encounter that. I have a shirt that I just wore today while vacationing in northern MN. It says “be kind” with a period. Keep trying Tania! You’ll find people who will respond eventually. ❤️
Thanks, Christine! I wear my heart on my sleeve and get my feelings hurt easily. Funny enough, I never get too frazzled when someone (very rarely) leaves an unkind comment on the blog. Go figure!
KIndness is always the way to go. Your friends curt response could have been due to the fact that she was busy, but still wanted to respond to you. She could have been visiting with others, been at work, or many other things. I think everyone is always too quick to take things personally. I know I am.
While the effect of what you experienced may linger, it may also linger with other person in quite the opposite way. Although we may not see the results, kindness leaves is mark, too!
I don’t feel badly if strangers don’t speak to me.
What I don’t understand is why a neighbor living directly across the street won’t say hello or wave. I have tried and may give up after 6 years.
Someone told me she has had a rough life, but still?
I guess I will have to start ignoring, but it’s just not me to do that.
I’m lucky to have super close friends and sister living nearby but I guess the neighbor could be shy.
I loved this post. I try to say to my granddaughters every time I’m with them and hugging them “be kind.” That is a message we need so much.
Beautiful message
Thanks, Connie.
Living in a similar Long Island community, you are so correct. Unfortunately, I now ignore them, too.
That is the issue; we repeat what is shown to us.
Great Sunday morning post ,Tania. I have experienced this as well . I’m a native of Long Island, NY and the small communities have changed drastically over the years. So many of the newer folks have a seemingly chilly attitude toward “ locals.” It would bother me tremendously since I’ve always tried my best to be kind, though I know I’m not perfect either. Recently I have left Long Island and now live upstate NY in the Catskill Mountains. I continue to practice my kindness even though some of the locals here are chilly towards me. I’m beginning to find little by little those who respond positively toward me . Just keep trying, it takes time. I love this quote I found on Pinterest,”Your vibe attracts your tribe” I remind myself of that and it helps.
Oh, no! If I attract my tribe by my vibe, I’ll have a bunch of workaholics on my hand. Lol!
Thank you for this Tania! Most of the time, when I give a polite but short reply or comment to someone, it’s because I do not feel like conversing. The problem with it, is that they don’t know my reasoning.
Ginger, if you don’t feel like having a conversation, then I would put off your response until later. I would rather someone get back to me later with a real response than immediately if a short one.
I have had my feelings hurt like this before too. I’m probably guilty of doing the same to someone though. Those of us who didn’t grow up texting are accustomed to answering someone immediately. It’s not always convenient and sometimes you just can’t engage at that moment. That’s what I tell myself these days when something seems off. It just feels like we all need to make so much more effort to be kind these days. The world is hard right now.
Stacey, I guess we all need to give each other grace. I don’t know the reasoning behind their response, and they don’t know how their response affects me.
Everything you have said is exactly true..our society has become so I attitude. Thank you for this reminder it is still Very Important to be nice to people. Show kindness…
Be kind, and hopefully, others will be kind in return.
This is very interesting. I’ve felt this way my entire life. I’ve never been able to really bond with another woman to have as a friend since childhood. Your post made me realize – “maybe it’s me.” Thank you for the kick in the rump. 🙂
Cece, I’m shy, so it is hard for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Some people think that I’m “stuck-up” because of this, when it is actually shyness.
I have felt this as well. We are also in a new community and have felt the same as what you said. It makes me feel sad and very lonely.
I really enjoy your Sunday posts thank you for them. Have a great day.
Paula, because a few people haven’t been friendly isn’t a reason to stop trying. I’ll keep talking, and you do the same. We will find our community eventually.
I am guilty of this on occasion. Thanks for the reminder.
Blessings
I’m more guilty of this than I like to admit.
Thanks for this reminder. To be present, and to be kind. Enjoy your weekend!
Thanks, Trish. I hope you have a great weekend too.