I’m a Control Freak Who Realizes I Have No Control
I’m a control freak! There, I admitted it out loud and for all to see. My husband has been telling me this for years, but I shushed him and told him he was wrong. Now, many years later, I’m having to admit that he might have been right.
If you’ve followed me since the beginning, you know that I was VERY involved with my local General Federation of Women’s Club. I’ve served as Chairman of many committees, on every level on the board, including President for two years, and even on the District and State levels. Some of the ladies in the club had a nickname for me, which meant that I was a dictator who demanded control over everything. They laughed and joked about it at the time, but in looking back, they probably meant what they were saying.
When we held an event, I wanted things done in a certain way. Decorating the town, Christmas Tree, or event hall would drive me nuts if I wasn’t the one in charge. Even when my kids were young and decorated the tree, I would move ornaments around after they went to bed to help the tree “look” more presentable. I’m not sure who I was making it presentable for since our family was the only one who would be seeing it.
As the blog grew, it consumed more and more of my time to the point I was going to have to give up some things in my life. I had to step down from committees, go off the boards, and quit traveling to state events. Letting go of some of the events that I had been in charge of for years was harder than you think. I would see things the new person was doing, and it took all of my willpower to keep my mouth shut and not get involved.
One day, my sister and I were talking about a couple of upcoming trips we were going on. She was going to India, and I was going to Alaska to visit my daughter. Neither one of us like flying, and we were talking about how it is scary to put your life in control of someone you don’t know. I had no control over who was flying the plane, who had repaired or worked on the plane, where those people had been, or who got on the plane with me. Then, my younger sister pointed out that flying was no different from anything else that I did in my life. She said that I actually didn’t have control of ANYTHING in my life, but I was just under an illusion of control.
At first, I thought she was wrong. After all, I can control what I choose to eat for lunch. But can I really? Can I control the weather that allows the food to grow and be harvested? Can I control the grocery stores that decide what foods to put out for me to buy? What happens if the electricity goes off and ruins all the food in my refrigerator? Can I control the electric company?
At least I can control what I write on my blog, right? Umm, what if Google doesn’t show my content to anyone? What if WordPress decides to kick me off its platform?
The truth is…we really don’t have control over much of anything. If you dig deep enough, you’ll soon realize that we are all dependent on someone or something. However, this doesn’t have to be concerning; instead, it can be liberating. Since I’m not in control of hardly anything, then why worry? If none of us are in control, then you might wonder who is. This is where the good news comes in…the LORD is in control! And, honestly, I would much rather know that the Lord was in control than me.
Psalm 103:19
19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Daniel 4:35
35 All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heaven And among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand Or say to Him, “What have You done?”
Psalms 115:3
3 But our God is in heaven; He does whatever He pleases.
This doesn’t mean we throw up our hands and do nothing. What it means is that the Lord will guide us, provide for us, and light our way. We need to believe, have faith, follow His promptings, and get out of God’s way. Quit trying to wrestle the controls out of His hands; He’s got this!!!
To God Goes The Glory!
Have A Blessed Day!
I enjoyed your story. It’s so relatable. Thanks for sharing.
Yes! I am a bit of a control freak myself. I am trying to let go and enjoy myself more. Thank you for your posts!
This resonates strongly for me. I have to remind myself often that I have no control and that God is in charge. Thank you so much for reminding me again today. Have a great week, Tania!
Tania, this is a very powerful message and one that resonated close to home. I’ve always felt the need to be in control. Not so much to be sure it was done the best way or correctly, but in my chaotic mind I just needed to be control to be sure it was in fact done. I’ve since let it go and let God. I so enjoy your messages and fashion tips! Thanks for all you do.
It’s liberating when we trust God and know that He has everything in control!
So relatable!
Love your take on feelings and fashion!
This realization is so true. Thanks for reminding me. So thankful our Lord and Savior has control of it all.
This is so true. Trusting in the Lord.
My control has always been fashion. This is one reason why I love your fashion post. From an early age I always liked clothing and shoes. I have to everything to look a certain way. When I was a teenager I wound never wear sneakers or a hat that would mess up my hair. I never go out unless I have makeup on. My husband tries to get me to throw something on quick and not worry about it, but I don’t know how to do that, lol. I could on and on but I am my own control freak when it comes to myself. The good thing that comes from it is I am a giver and donate a lot of clothing every year.
You described me! I have to do the same as you did, but it’s very hard. Thanks for this good advice.