Body Types That Aren’t Fruit

Why are women’s body types always fruit? I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of having my body compared to pieces of fruit. The favorite examples are Apple, Strawberry, Banana, and Pear. I know I don’t have a well defined waist, but do you really have to compare me to food for a Monkey? Lol!!!

I was telling my husband about this post, and was explaining the different body types to him. We were in agreement that comparing women’s bodies to fruit was not very flattering. However, we disagreed when it came to the terminology that I would use. He suggested instead of Pear to go with “Badonkadonk”, instead of Strawberry to go with “Boobielcious”, and for the Hourglass to go with “Va Va Va Voom.” I believe I see where he was going. Hahaha I however decided to go a different route. I think all women as gems, some are more like diamonds in the rough. So I decided to use the different cuts for a diamond for my types .Here is a picture of different diamond shapes that I found on a website from the diamond authority. I would much rather be called an Emerald than a banana. Instead of a strawberry, how about a heart? Sorry pear, you are still a pear. Hahaha  While round does not sound much better than apple, just remember this is a brilliant cut diamond, not a piece of fruit. You hourglasses don’t have a diamond shape, so I guess Va Va Va Voom will have to do. But don’t whine, you’re an hourglass, the shape most of us would gladly trade for.

I am not a “trained” professional when it comes to fashion, so you take my advice at your own risk. Lol! My plan is to take a different body type over the next couple of post, and go “virtual” shopping. Since I am the Emerald, we will start with that one first.

The Emerald shape has chest, waistline, and hip measurements that have little, to no difference. We need illusions to help give us curves. Necklines that are V-shaped, sweetheart, cowl, crew, boat neck, and jewel, are a few of the styles that look good on us. To help narrow the waist you should wear belts, cinch waist, wrap dresses, and jackets and blazers. Jeans and pants are best when they are form fitting. Straight leg and skinny/narrow leg options are the best choice. And to help define the chest, ruffles and frills, (which I am not a fan) pleating, ruching, and an empire waist all help.This is what I wore today. Did it meet the guidelines? Well, I do have on a v-neck and form fitting jeans, so I get an “A” for that. Normally I would also add a blazer, but I couldn’t find one that I liked, so this will have to suffice. LOL! Here are some virtual choices that I picked out.

These are examples of items I found on Old Navy. The flutter sleeves in pic 1, brings your eye inward to your waist creating a V shape. I love the fair-isle sweater in pic 2, and I really wish I wasn’t still on my financial diet. The print helps to widen the shoulders, making the waist appear smaller. The  cinch waist in pic 3 is self explanatory. Haha! The dresses in pic 4 and 5 both give the illusion of a smaller waist. Pic 4 uses the print of the dress, while pic 5 has a built in flare which widens the hips. The jeans and pants are both narrow cut and you don’t have to shy away from colors on your bottom half. Finally, pic 8 is a t-shirt that is form fitting, v-necked, and a beautiful shade of green.

I thought virtual shopping would be easy, but that was hard. Picking out clothing by theory is not easy. I dread trying to pick out styles for a body type that I don’t have. This might get interesting. You’ll want to check back tomorrow when I see what I can find for the Pear.My argyle sweater is so old I am surprised it doesn’t have moth holes. Haha   I bought it at Kohl’s, and it was one of the “finds” I recovered from under my bed. I like the bright green color in this sweater. Here is a similar navy sweater, but with red accents. The no-iron button down shirt is by Van Heusen. I always thought that Van Heusen only had mens clothing, and was really surprised when I shopped in one a couple years ago. I quickly put them on my list of stores I love.
The skinny jeans are by Vigoss, and I bought them at Maurices. Be sure to be patient, and wait for the sale for these jeans. Maurice’s runs sales on their jeans regularly. Here is a slim version that I really like. I added this long vintage aurora borealis red necklace to help elongate the v shape. I tied the necklace in a knot because….well, just because. I liked it that way.

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