I am afraid of rejection. Maybe if I say it out loud it will somehow take away the irrational fear that I sometimes feel. Maybe if I confess this fear then some of you will be able to face the same irrational fear that is gripping you and also shove it to the side.

I am not sure when the fear of rejection started but I can remember feeling uncomfortable even when I was younger. Do you remember the days when kids would divide up to play a game? I can recall that two children would be the captains and then they would take turns picking one child apiece until everyone was on a team. I was afraid that I would be the last child picked.

I can remember going on field trips and getting on the school bus and there would be children sitting in a seat with their legs stretched out so that no one but their friend could sit with them. Wandering up and down the aisles looking for a place to sit was embarrassing until someone would take pity on you and let you sit with them.

Even as an adult I find myself trying to protect myself from rejection if at all possible. When I started this blog I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want people I knew to laugh at me. I was afraid that they would be able to see that I was going to be rejected by the whole internet. I would think, “what if no one ever finds the blog?” and “what if I get comments that tell me that I don’t know what I am doing?” I thought that if everyone rejected me then at least only I and my sister would know. Somehow I thought that would lessen the blow from feeling rejected because the truth is, I didn’t know what I was doing.

I realize that what I was really seeking was approval from someone. I wanted someone to say, “I choose you!” It didn’t matter to me if they were going to choose me to play on their team in sports or if they were choosing me to sit with them on a long bus trip or if they were choosing me as a friend and advisor on the internet. I just wanted to be chosen, I wanted to be approved of, I wanted to be their friend.

Today, while I was sitting here writing this, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was seeking approval from “mankind.” Is that really who I need to be worried about rejecting me? Now I can see that the answer to that question is NO. I need to be worried about what my Father in Heaven is thinking about me. I need Him to choose me, to approve of me.

Isaiah 41: 9-10

I took you from the ends of the earth,
    from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I hope to be strong and to walk with my head held high. I hope to continue to realize that the approval of others is not my end game. It is not how many “likes” a Facebook post gets, it is not how many “comments” a blog post gets, but instead, it is how many times that the Lord says, “well done my good and faithful servant” that truly matters.

Have A Blessed Sunday!

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35 Comments

  1. DANA SMATHERS Reply

    Tanya, I truly appreciate your perspective today, it hits home and is much needed…thank you.

  2. Daria Armstrong Reply

    As I sit waiting for my flight to depart, I thank you for keeping me grounded on the blessed day.

  3. Wow. We’ve all been there. Still, I look for approval from man, and less from my Father. I need to reverse that. Thank you for the reminder. Xo

  4. So true! I love your pics Monday through Saturday but I really look forward to your Sunday posts! I pray blessings for you and all your readers today!

  5. Tania, I needed to hear this message this morning. Thank you for sharing your spirit and allowing us to walk through this crazy life with you. It helps to know that there is someone else out there that feels the same way I do. Have a blessed day!
    Karen

  6. Wow , you just Described me!!
    We all seek approval from people, everyone want to be wanted.
    You were on point, Gods approval is all we need to be striving for!!
    Thank you for the Word.

  7. Dana Buckingham Reply

    Tania, I also look forward to your Sunday posts because they reach us right where we live. I should care more about what my Heavenly Father thinks of me than any human in my life and I’m trying to do that. Thanks for another timely reminder! God bless you!

  8. Charlcy L. Green Reply

    I can remember being the last little blonde kid chosen on any side in PE and it was excrutiating!I was not athletic and NO ONE wanted me! It took me years to overcome that kind of thing, and of course that is only the beginning in learning to deal w rejection in my two failed marriages! But…my God has chosen me first and loves me no matter what and there is no greater gift! Thank you for being transparent and sharing your faith w us, Tania!

  9. Thank you for your honesty and being brave enough to say it. I too was last one picked as child to be on a team. It was embarrassing at that young age. And the scripture today was powerful to me and I needed that reminder. I’m here to please God not mankind even when it seems hard to do. Another thought provoking and inspiring way to start my day and week. May God continue to bless you and yours.

  10. Joy Bassett Reply

    Great post! Thank you for telling me exactly what I needed to hear today!

  11. Hi Tania ,
    I so appreciate your Sunday posts . I’m the same age as you and I still struggle with this . It’s encouraging to have a reminder of what really matters . Thank you and God bless ❤
    Ruby ( Beatrice )

  12. It hit me like a ton of bricks reading your post! Thats me I thought!!! You said it so so well. We as women I think are more pleasers. We want to please and make everyone happy and need to focus God is the One we need to please first. God has blessed you with an amazing way of sharing his goodness!

  13. Thank you Tania for reminding us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith and to keep our eyes off being men or women pleasers. I find that the older I get and the more I know my identity in Christ, the less I care about what others think of my personal choices. Interestingly, the more we seek to please God, the more we will trouble others, even other believers in the church. But to know God is pleased, that is the ultimate joy. Blessings!

  14. So glad I’m not the only one who feels this way occasionally. I’d always hoped I’d grow out of it. Enjoy following your blog and I love your style!

  15. Its funny i was just thinking about rejection and low self esteem. This could be why i block myself from something. Its a horrible feel to put your self out there and get nothing back thank you for reminding me that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me

  16. Joyce Adair Reply

    Thank you for being so honest. It is a great reminder for us all. I always look forward to your Sunday post !😊
    Joyce

  17. Jayne Finkbohner Reply

    Oh this was so powerful and well said, Tanya!! I needed to read this and let it sink in deep to my heart and soul!!

    God bless, Jayne

  18. Sometimes your posts get me through the day. I have been fighting a terrifying fear of rejection at a new job. I needed this so thank you!

    • Tania Reply

      You know that “I” was not the one who brought you this message, Amanda.

  19. I think we ALL have this fear to some degree. I certainly suffered from it for many, many years and, on occaision, still do. But yes, our worth comes from THE LORD. We are princesses because our Heavenly Father is the KING! I’m happy and proud that I found you. I believe the Holy Spirit knew we needed to be friends. XOXO

  20. So true!!! Everyone seems to get caught up on numbers… how many likes did I get on this!! When writing a blog post, it’s so easy to get caught up in how many people read the post. Then, I get caught up in “what did they think.” I don’t want to be like that, but I guess it’s human nature!!!

  21. I am so happy I found your Blog. I am right at this moment reinventing myself and looking for inspiration. I am in my 50’s and I have decided I want the new me to be elegant, comfortable, graceful and satisfied. I note that the new me only has to be accepted by me to be successful! Thank you 🙂

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