LETTING FEAR CONTROL YOUR LIFE

Sunday, July 16, 2017

I am a fearful person. I can make myself afraid of almost anything and everything. I can even be afraid of being afraid. What if I make myself so upset that I have a heart-attack, or I make myself so stressed that I gain lots of weight? So when Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” he could have been talking about me.

I had the best time visiting Alaska last week. It was one of the best vacations I have ever taken. When my daughter first started talking about Joe and me visiting I had that moment of fear when I started thinking about having to fly for such a long period of time. Because I love my daughter and I really wanted to see her I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and went ahead with all the arrangements. I could have easily come up with an excuse or two to put the trip off but I would have been letting fear dictate my decision.

Flying is not the only thing I am afraid of. I am afraid of staying by myself alone at night. It is not as bad as it used to be, but I hate getting into bed and then letting my thoughts run wild. I always take the dogs to bed with me when Joe is out of town because they give me some comfort. They are not great for protection and would probably hide behind me if someone actually came into the room. I remember once when the kids were in high school and Joe was gone that Beckley started growling and barking at my bedroom door. I wasn’t too concerned because I knew that it was about midnight and that the kids weren’t in bed yet. I got up and opened up the door and told Beckley that no one was there but he took off like a flash. I followed him down the hall and when I got to the kitchen there stood one of the kid’s friends. He had dropped by and was talking to them. I couldn’t hear him but Beckley could and was not happy about it.

How about fear of public speaking? Put that on my list, too. I have really been trying to conquer that fear and I put myself in situations where I do have to occasionally speak in public. So far I haven’t passed out in fear nor have a made a complete fool of myself so I guess that is something.

Fears are everywhere, fear of commitment, fear of heights, fear of taking tests, and fear of failing are things that come to my mind first. Fear of failing has held so many people back from reaching their full potential. My son was a very good basketball player but he hated the idea of failing. The coach would draw up a plan at the end of the game for the team to get the ball in his hands for a three point shot but as soon as he got the ball he would pass it off. It didn’t matter who he gave the ball to as long it was not him. He would rather lose the game than to risk failing.

When I started this blog I told no one. The only person who knew was my sister because she had been trying to get me to do a blog for over a year. She helped me set everything up and get going. BUT, I didn’t tell Joe or the kids, I didn’t tell my mother, and I didn’t tell my best friends. Why? Why would I not tell the people closest to me about a new adventure I was taking? Fear! I was afraid that they would make fun of me and I was afraid no one would ever read my blog. I was afraid I would fail.

“‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.’” Isaiah 43:1b-2 (NIV)

Read these words and then read them again. How can you be afraid when the Lord is with you? He says, “Do Not Fear!” He says that “I will be with you!” I can’t think of anyone that I would rather have with me, beside me, guiding me, and pushing me to bigger and better things than the Lord. I am so thankful that I did not let fear keep me from trying something new. I am so thankful that the Lord has plans for me and that in spite of my fearful attitude I am trusting in Him. He is with me always! Even if I fail I know that He was with me and that He will not leave me. That gives me strength, that gives me hope, and that gives me a life not controlled by fear.

Have a Blessed Sunday!

 

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55 Responses
  • pkarshis
    July 16, 2017

    So well said Tania! I saw a quote the other day that said Fail stands for First Attempt in Learning. I had never heard that before and I really liked it. I wish we were taught this from a very young age. Thanks!

    • Naomi
      July 16, 2017

      I love that! FAIL standing for First Attempt In Learning is terrific and so true!

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Patti, I love that quote. It would make “trying” so much easier if we looked at it as learning. Failing would just be a step closer to reaching our goals.

  • Lyn
    July 16, 2017

    That was so thought provoking. I too worry so much and if I’m not worrying I worry why I’m not worrying. It’s in our makeup, your either a person who doesn’t give a damn or your a person who generally worries about everything. I would like to be more chilled and it is something I’m working on. I’m 52 now and since the menopause hit I hate to say it but I probably worry even more about life in general and my family. I guess it’s something you have to live with and keep trying to overcome. Good luckxx

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      When I was younger I didn’t seem to worry as much. As I get older I find myself worrying more and more and it is frankly quite annoying. Trusting in the Lord has helped me through many bad times and I can see His presence daily in my life. Why should I worry if I know He is with me?

      • Reatta Minshew
        July 16, 2017

        Hello Tania
        I’ve been following you about 3 months now. I’m 53, from Texas.Married 35 yrs. We have 5 grandchildren and I’m an avid Fixer Upper Fan… haha.
        I love your blog, your fashion is my style too. Today’s post was so truthful. I think we all are afraid of something. I don’t like sleeping w/o my husband either. I will sleep in the living room….omg! I was so inspired to read you sharing your faith. How awesome to have someone step up and say “give your fears to God”. Have faith not fear…amen sister. And it is hard, but my Lord has never failed to lift me up. He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
        May God use you in a mighty way to HIS GLORY.
        Your sister in Texas
        Reatta

  • Tania Goddard
    July 16, 2017

    Very interesting and inspiring! Fear has held me back from so much in life and although some fears have lessened as I get older, others have increased. Sadly, I too find it hard to share any new ventures with family and close friends for fear of being laughed at, not taken seriously or even talked out of my idea!

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Fear of being laughed at is so real. I try to make fun of myself first so that others have no ammunition. Why is so hard to just through back your shoulders and say, “At least I tried?”

  • Naomi
    July 16, 2017

    Tania dear, thank you for stepping out despite fear and sharing your love of the Lord, of life, family, fashion- all the good stuff! Dear based decisions are not our best ones. Thank you for

  • Camilla Cabaniss
    July 16, 2017

    I love your Sunday blogs! I have them saved and I think you should publish them in a book of meditation.

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Camilla, that is so sweet of you. I wish I was a better writer like my sister then that might be something I would actually consider.

  • Nancy
    July 16, 2017

    I’m happy to hear I am not the only one who is “afraid of the dark.” Lol!! I hate staying home alone overnight; it’s a wonder I get any sleep at all on those nights!

  • Glenda Braun
    July 16, 2017

    Right on time as I needed it. My list of fears reads like yours plus. Thank you as always for your words of encouragement.

  • Libby Sims Lancaster
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you for those wonderful Lord’s day thoughts!

  • Nanci
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you……your words and this scripture are very timely for me right now.

  • Sandy
    July 16, 2017

    I really like your Sunday messages, thank you!

  • Karen
    July 16, 2017

    Wonderful post! I would have never suspected that you were afraid of anything. Your blog, your plunder and r and f business! Those are all things I am afraid to try. I have thought about blogging for a couple of years and have yet to start. Too scared of failure. You are a very special person!

  • Barbara McKone
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you for these words of encouragement . I have so much fear and it is time to let it go and trust in the Lord . Thank you Tania you are always so inspiring 😊 Have a wonderful Sunday🌺

  • Karen H.
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you so much for this post, Tania. Exactly what I needed to read today. Isaiah 43: 1-2 was such a great suggestion. Blessings!

  • Carol Fletcher
    July 16, 2017

    I enjoy reading your blog. I found it while looking at Pinterest one day. Loved going to Alaska with you.

  • Cristina Downey
    July 16, 2017

    Wonderful thoughts, If we are all honest there are few of us not afraid of something. Some of it is part of our DNA and that fight or flight instinct however most of it is us getting in our own way indeed! I thing the quote First Attempt In Learning should be hanging in every classroom from K to College, truly powerful! You have a blessed Sunday and a peaceful week Tania!

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Christina, Joe is always saying that either fight or flight will kick in when we are faced with a problem. I am guilty of the flight most of the time. If you picture an Ostrich with its head in the sand, that would be me.

  • Teri Getler Matthews
    July 16, 2017

    Beautiful….

  • Joanne
    July 16, 2017

    Your post was such a blessing to me today. Thank you Tania.

  • Elizabeth Johnson
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you so much!!! This really spoke to me this morning!!! God will bless you for your willingness and your honesty! Much love ❤️

  • Linda
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you for this wonderful post. Things that I have no control over worries me. I have gotten better about putting it in God’s hands and I find peace in doing so.

    Happy Sunday!

  • Karen
    July 16, 2017

    Thoughtful post, speaks to me! Thanks Tania

  • CJ
    July 16, 2017

    How timely this post is for me! First let me say that I’m extremely introverted but have recently committed to overcoming some of the social anxiety fears in my life.
    That said, last week I ventured out to do some shopping at the mall, which I haven’t done in almost a decade. During my visit to an Old Navy, based on outfits you have worn on the blog and recommendations you have made, I had an encounter unlike any I would have ever had in the past!
    At one point I happened to overhear the conversation of three very attractive women, all of whom were in our age group, discussing age appropriate fashion and how they feared being accused of trying to be 20 something wannabes.
    I immediately apologized for intruding on their conversation but took out my phone, opened up Pinterest and turned them on to your blog!
    I don’t know where they were from and I didn’t get their names, just wanted to share with you that your posts touch many lives in more ways than you can begin to imagine.
    Keep up the good work!

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      CJ, that is wonderful! I am so happy to hear that you faced your fears and stepped outside your comfort zone. Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I have been so blessed with wonderful readers but I never really think that anything I say or do has an impact on their lives. Thank you so much for sharing my blog with others. 😘

  • Cheryl A Records
    July 16, 2017

    Tania, this is a much needed message to everyone these days! Thank you for sharing!

  • Patty Flott
    July 16, 2017

    Hi Tanya, I want to introduce myself to you. I am Patty Flott. I love your blog, especially your post today. It spoke to my heart. So many times in life God uses others to speak to you, today He used you! Thank you. I realize I have not launched my blog Meet Me At Midlife, for fear of failure. I am very close to taking the plunge but have yet to go live. I tell myself I don’t have enough content or I ask myself will anybody be interested? Reading your post has made me understand my blog is for me, it’s my space to speak and share, if others are meant to follow it, it will be God’s will. It doesn’t need to be perfect to start, like me, it can be a “work in progress”! God is working with me everyday, thank you again for sharing His words today.

    Warm Regards,

    Patty Flott

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Patty, I understand where you are, I was there several months ago. I had no idea why I started this blog, I thought it was to help us women reinvent themselves as we age and step into another chapter of our lives. However, I really think that the Lord set this in motion to reach women out there who were in need, not only in fashion but also emotionally and spiritually. I have no idea why He would have chosen me as a vehicle but I am extremely grateful that He has. Start your blog, you never know the direction it might take.

    • Debbie
      July 19, 2017

      Patty, you write beautifully and I would read your blog. Let us know when you launch.

  • Hollie
    July 16, 2017

    Tania this touched me deeply just when I desperately needed it. I’m grateful for your openness and it’s given me encouragement when I was very low. Thank you.❤

  • Sandi
    July 16, 2017

    I love this Max Lucado quote:
    “At the beginning of every act of faith there is often a seed of fear.”

  • Edit Jeremias
    July 16, 2017

    I can worry about everything too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  • Julia Purtill
    July 16, 2017

    Tania, thank you for talking about fear as I have claustrophobia and didn’t fly for 13 years! I now medicate but I’m going on my first European trip and am petrified! Your message came at a good time for me!

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Julia, I feel your pain. Medication, meditation, and faith will see you through this. Sit in an aisle seat, that helps not to feel as claustrophobic. I think about the “A” Team when I fly. Do you remember that show and how they had to knock Mr. T out to get him on a plane? Lol! Have a good time and remember the one who is in control.

  • Wendi Reger
    July 16, 2017

    Love your honesty! I can’t say I’m fearful of too many things but knowing Jesus is right beside me holding my hand gives me great comfort! Thanks for sharing. And I for am glad you started your blog.

  • Jean
    July 16, 2017

    Love this blog. I too have fears, what happened to that young girl and young woman who had no fear of anything was always on the edge and ready to jump. I never use to worry about things at all, my thought was it would always be fine. Now as a grandma, retired, and just now reached the age I thought was really old, I find my self questioning if I can be good enough, look good, and if my skills will measure up. At this age I have finally realized I am somewhat invisible to the outside world and I have finally come to the conclusion that should free me from all of my fences I’ve wrapped around myself God has been with me always and has protected me from myself more times than I can remember. So after reading this great blog I have finally found the wings that I thought had disappeared and am ready to finish my life as I once was unstoppable. Thanks for your wonderful blog

    • Tania
      July 16, 2017

      Jean, so many women our age feel invisible. I promise you that we are NOT! We have people who look up to us for one reason or another, we have people who love us, and we are very visible to the Lord! I am so happy that this blog has helped you. 😘

  • Rebecca Traughber
    July 16, 2017

    I get so much from your “Sunday thoughts”! Your words are always inspirational and on point! Thank you!

  • Vickie
    July 16, 2017

    Great post! My life verse is Deuteronomy 31:8, and I’ve quoted it to myself many times over the past almost 50 years! At least we don’t have as many fears as Adrian Monk – ha, ha!!!!

  • Pam
    July 16, 2017

    Oh my goodness, I love this and we need to meet and have a up of coffee! Ha! You are a girl after my own heart. I too fear so many things, but yet I know all the while, that God has my back. This is just a portion of Matthew 6:25-27. It says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.” The end of it says, “Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Why do we doubt that He will handle all the big stuff? Thanks for sharing your life and honesty with us.

  • mimi2031
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you for posting this!

  • Judy Covert
    July 16, 2017

    I think we all have a fear of something and then when someone asks us to do something out of our comfort zone, we begin to doubt out abilities and the fear takes over. The verse you put into your blog was one of the best in the Bible. We should not fear for the Lord has our backs. I pray when I do things I am not comfortable with ,that God will guide me through it and afterwards, I find that yes He was there all the time. Thank you for sharing your blog with all of us today for it may help others like us who do have fears and maybe can face them knowing our great God has our hands. Love your blog . Keep up the good works.

  • Jeanne Epley
    July 16, 2017

    I can’t tell you how much this blog, talks about me. Being afraid is so much of my make up. I was sitting yesterday worried about how I would do getting my business together, and what if I did follow my heart and write a blog, would anyone buy from me or would anyone read my blog. But I almost forgot about Isiah 43. that is the best verse, and I have not read it in a long time. This just brought me back to whom I should be putting my faith in, God is always there, I just need to remember that.
    Great blog!! Thanks I needed this!! 😉

  • Gloria Randle
    July 16, 2017

    Thank you for sharing. It is very comforting for me. Tough when you have challenges you are fearful of. Glad you had a successful relaxing vacation.

  • Sandy
    July 16, 2017

    Very thoughtful and meaningful message today. Some days I let worries take over but I stop and tell my self it is getting me nowhere. A local church had this on their marquee “If you pray, don’t worry. If you worry, why pray.” Made me think!

  • Gail Young
    July 17, 2017

    Thank you for sharing, so many of us let fear keep us from doing great and wonderful things!!! So glad you pushed past your fears, went to Alaska and had a fabulous visit with your daughter!!! God bless you!

  • Cynthia Kendrick
    July 17, 2017

    Thank you for allowing God to use you as His messenger. This message was for me today. I kept trying to read it yesterday, but either the grandkids would call/distract me or the phone would ring. I needed this TODAY! Peace and blessings!

  • Mary S
    July 18, 2017

    Tania, as we get older, I think we have more to worry about, our health, our kids, our loved one’s health and the world today…..etc. When you’re young, you just don’t think about all that stuff! I am 5 days post op from a bunion removal, and doing really well. Not so 5 days ago! I very nearly called the hospital at 5 am and cancelled!! My husband talked me off the cliff. Reading the internet about bunion surgery is not the best idea, it’s almost all horror stories! I thank God I am not in hardly any pain!!! Thanks for your blog…….we love it!

  • Debbie
    July 19, 2017

    So as usual I am late reading your blog, but I believe it was God’s perfect timing. My husband recently started a new job. He is normally not a fearful person, but many months of unemployment has caused him to doubt his abilities in some areas. I woke up and decided to tackle my e-mail and this blog was the first thing I read. I know it was because God wanted me to share this verse with him and the FAIL acronym = first attempt at learning before he left for work. Thanks for your timely post of encouragement for us “gurls”and even for our men!

    • Tania
      July 19, 2017

      I marvel at how the Lord works constantly. I am humbled at how He uses me and I am so happy that He chose my blog as a way to get His message out. Thanks for sharing with your husband. I read comments from you gurls all the time to Joe. Lol!

  • Patty Flott
    July 25, 2017

    Thank you Tania, your words are so encouraging. I will let you know when I launch. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy your blog, your “Honest Straight to The Heart” posts and your beautiful style!

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