IF ONLY I WAS……

Have you ever said the words, “If only I was?” You can insert a great number of words after that sentence such as prettier, smarter, thinner, or richer. We have all done it, we have all played the comparison game. But why do we compare ourselves to others?

The other day I was listening to a training call and the gentleman talking basically said that we all compare ourselves to others. He went on to say that not only do we compare ourselves to others but we compare our worst self to their best self. Huh? This person was talking about business and how we make excuses for not doing something. “I can’t do that because I am don’t have that many friends.” “I can’t do that because I am not a good public speaker.” “I can’t do that because I don’t have the money to spend on advertising.” Basically, he said we were just all making excuses.

I can sit here and list you 10 reasons I can’t do something but it is so much harder for me to list 10 reasons why I can do something. I can list 10 things I would like to change about myself but it is so much harder for me to list you 10 things I like about myself. What does that say about me? Do I lack confidence?

The Lord gave each of us strengths and weaknesses. I believe that HE did this for a reason. If we didn’t have a weakness would we ever lean on the Lord, would we ever have to trust in HIS powers? If we didn’t have weaknesses how would we ever grow? I am shy but that doesn’t mean I can’t put myself in new situations to grow. The woman’s club has given me a wonderful platform to overcome my shyness. I became the President of our local club and had to lead the meeting in front of 20-30 people. Even thoughย that is a few people, I was petrified. I would shake so hard you could see the papers in my hand move. Next came the District level where I became President and had to conduct the meeting in front of 50-70 people. Once again I was petrified but I still did it, and even though I shook the ladies in the audience didn’t seem to notice. Then, I went on to be the State Fundraising Chairmen where I had to get up in front of 200-300 people and talk and I even had to conduct workshops about Fundraising. All these actions petrified me. I always said a prayer before each meeting, before each speech, before each workshop. I leaned on the Lord for help and He got me through the process. HE has helped me to grow.

I believe the Lord uses our weaknesses as a training tool. I can see him teaching me and training me daily. Why would someone who is shy start a blog? Why would someone who is shy agree to fly to San Diego and meet thousands of people she doesn’t know? I believe that the Lord has something in mind for me and he is using my weakness to become a strength.

What is your weakness? Can you feel the Lord working in your life? Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. If you have to compare yourself with someone, then compare your new self with your old self. We are the Lords work in progress.

Have A Blessed Day

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  1. I think we are direct by a bigger someting. Things happen to us for a reason. And sometimes it takes longer to get there because we don t listen enough.

  2. Thank you Tania for your honesty. I too believe God uses our weaknesses to lean on him. I think women compare themselves so much more than men do. It must be a “woman thing”. I did a study on the spiritual gifts and we all have one or more. I know in my case I have allowed Satan to discourage me and rob me from my gifts…maybe gifts. I am trying to be obedient to God and use my gift/s. You do a phenomenal job preparing your post/blog. I truly do not see how you do all that you do. I have said this before and I will say it again….I thoroughly enjoy your sense of humor, your many combinations of outfits, your family pics with stories and really look forward to your Sunday posts. You make me smile every morning ๐Ÿ˜Š(and laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚ too) ~Lisa~

    • I think it is a “woman thing” too. I can find hundreds of things to compare myself to others with. It doesn’t have to be anything big it can just be the graceful way she walks or the beautiful penmanship she has. I always love you comments, Lisa. They make me smile!๐Ÿ˜Š

  3. My bible reading this morning was from Isaiah “Here am I Lord send me”. We had a Women’s dinner at our church last night & that was also the message there. I think we all need to step out of out comfort zone sometimes so God can show us his plan for our life. I did this about 10 years ago and I have had so many blessings, and some trials, since that day but have grown so much in my Faith. Thanks so much for your encouraging words.

    • That is a hard verse. Send me! That sounds wonderful until HE does and then we panic, or at least I do. My prayer is always “Use Me.”

  4. I really needed to read this today. I’m constantly comparing myself to others, thus plaguing myself with insecurity and defeat. Thank you for this wonderful reminder!

    • Exactly, Jennifer. Comparing their best with our worst never ends well for us. You are right about the insecurity and defeat.

  5. So True ! I believe God is working on my Patience. There was a time that i cudnt even stand in line at the supermarket. But now he is giving me the strength to not leave Thank you for your encouraging words !
    Have a wonderful Sunday

    • Nicki, my Preacher is like that with traffic. It drives him crazy. He is constantly battling patience. He has laughed and said that the Lord puts the traffic in his way so he can practice. Lol!

  6. I believe this to be true. When things happen so abruptly, we need to stop and look. God has always lead me in my life. Sometimes I forget and God always put me back on track. Thank you and all of you have a blessed day!!

  7. Great message today! I have a fear of change, but the Lord blessed me with a new job in the last five years of my career. This job blesses me with a different pace and the chance for renewed health. We are sometimes fearful of what He places before us. But if we trust in Him we can find great things that we never anticipated! It is a daily practice for sure. Encouraging words indeed! Have a blessed “day of rest”.

  8. I work on Sundays, so I can’t get to church. I read your message every Sunday morning though, and it’s like a mini sermon. Your words are always a blessing!

  9. Hi Tania

    I have been reading your blog for a sometime now and although I love your colourful style and witty writing in your style blog, I have been surprised by how much I enjoy your Sunday posts. I have not posted a comment before but today’s post about comparisons and weaknesses really resonated with me. I am 46 years old and outwardly would appear very confident, together and very fortunate (so I’m told by friends), all of which is probably true to a certain degree. But for years I have been crippled with low self esteem issues. I beat myself up for not being better at this or that etc as you say in your blog above. So I have spent years trying to rid myself of this weakness of not feeling good enough and to just try and accept myself and be happy, easier said than done. Your words today have made me think about it in a different light to turn my weakness into a positive. So instead of beating myself up about beating myself up, maybe this weakness in me is what drives me forward to be a better version of myself. Perhaps it’s this that pushes me on to constantly challenge myself, strive towards goals, aim to be better. Even if I only achieve some of my goals at least I’m making progress. So thank you for giving me a different perspective. I look forward to next Sunday’s post ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Amanda, I am so glad you posted. I love my Sunday posts and it means everything to me that they help others as well as myself. I have a friend who sounds just like you. Outwardly she appears confident and everyone envies her, however, there are many layers inside her that are not visible. Layers of being told she was a disappointment and was never good enough. She too has overcome and has made that weakness work “for” her and not against her.

  10. Thank you Tania…..your message is definitely what I needed to hear!! I enjoy your honesty and true inspiration you give all of us!! Love your blog and beautiful style!!

  11. I agree with the other reader that says she enjoys and laughs everyday with your witty writing, but REALLY enjoys your Sunday posts. They ARE a mini sermon and are always meaningful and pertinent. Today is especially so because we all do it. Thank you!๐Ÿ˜

  12. Thank you for another wonderful Sunday post (I do enjoy your blog posts every day). I so look forward to your helpful words. They resonate with me, and I’m sure many other people. They are quite inspirational! Enjoy your day and thanks again.

  13. I love the thought to compare our new self with our old self! Just what I needed to hear. Thanks.

  14. Tania, have you ever read or listened to something and the first thing you say, “is this is talking about me”, like no one else around and you are the subject of the article or the talk. Well, today is that day, everything you have talked about sounds like me! I have been a School PTA president, VP, and Secretary, and my legs shook when I went to stand up and give reports, but I did it. I then joined a women’s group in Pensacola, FL. and started by “helping where I could” to Secretary then, I was President. This whole time I was petrified in standing to talk, but like you I did it. I did not go further with that group, as my husband retired and we came to AL!! I have been in various other “leadership roles”,since I came to AL, but on the assistant level, so I did not have to do anything up front, but the Lord was always~ my Lighthouse, a Shining fortress and my guiding light!
    He has been there for the old me, and a blessing to me,as I try to open up my “new” world and stop looking at others for examples, etc. I always believed copying what some one does is a compliment, however, being your self is so much better!! (at least that is what I am learning) LOL
    Thank you for your Sunday and every other day Blogs, and styles and kindness.
    Have a great week. Jeanne

    BTW, is the club your in the General Federation of Women’s Clubs?

    • Yes, I know exactly what you mean, Jeanne. There are several Sundays when I asked the Preacher if he wrote the sermon for me. We are all more alike than we know. Lol! My club is the GFWC Grundy Woman’s Club in the GFWC Virginia Woman’s Club.

      • How funny, I was part of the Myrtle Grove Woman’s club, part of the FLA federation. Which has since been disbanded, all of the members left were elderly and there was no success in gathering younger woman. Oh well. Yes ,it is true, we are all the same in many ways!! LOL Have a great day!!

  15. Love the idea to compare my new self with the old self, Tania!!!! A constant battle not to compare ourselves with others, hey!!!! Love your post and as always it has given me a lot to think about and take with me!!!!!
    Have a great week!!!!
    Hugz

  16. I really enjoyed this post Tania. How true that we compare our weakest/worst self with someone else’s best, or what we perceive to be their ‘best.’ I believe that God made each of us unique, and gave us all gifts that He wants us to be using for His glory, not to compare ourselves with others. So many times I’ve said the “I can’t because…” statements or “It’s easy for her because….but me….” Been there too often. The Lord sees me as worthy and has given me gifts to use, and I am striving now to be mindful of that fact and not try to be someone He never intended for me to be in the first place. Thanks for the reminder!

  17. Not only do I love your blog about fashion, I also love your inspirational posts that are grounded in your faith. God is truly good and reading your post reminds me to take a minute to give thanks for my blessings, not focus on my faults. Thank you!!!

  18. Tania, I just now found this post but boy did it hit me! I have been having this conversation with myself this week alot! Thanks as awlays for your sage advice in our Lord!