areIt was a long drive from Virginia to Marietta, Georgia this weekend. It takes at least 6 hours to get to my sister’s house, and that is without stopping to shop along the way or eating. Sandy and I talked the entire way about a little bit of everything. It is wonderful when you are comfortable with a person and it makes the trip go so much faster.

We talked about politics, our children, work, our husbands, and a wide variety of other topics. We got to talking about one of our friends who has it “all.” When you look at this person you see good looks, a wonderful spouse, great children, lots of money, etc. It is like driving by a beautiful house and wondering about the people who live inside.

Here is what I have learned. EVERYBODY has problems! Some problems are easily visible, like physical or mental health issues. Other problems can be hidden, and you might not even be aware they exist. How many people do you know that have a huge house, fancy cars, and expensive clothing, but are up to their neck in debt? What about a child or woman that is abused mentally and made to feel worthless?

I was guilty of making an assumption about my friend who had it all. However, I found out that it has not always been easy for my friend. A strained relationship with the parents has resulted in no communication in months. Finances have not always been great, and there have been times when it was almost non-existent. Thankfully my friend was a strong person and was able to weather all the storms, but there are plenty of people who crumble under the pressure.

You might have seen a commercial on television where a man was suddenly able to see what everyone was thinking. One was worried about their aging parents, one a marriage that was faltering, one was broke and worried about paying the electric bill, and one was suffering abuse at the hands of his father. From the outside, none of these problems were visible.

The scars that a person carries with them are not always visible. Some scars might be new and raw, while others have healed but the hurt still remains. I need to have a little more compassion and a little more patience. I need to judge less by the outward appearance and quit making assumptions. I hope others will grant me the same consideration.

Have a blessed Sunday!

 

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18 Comments

  1. Amen. People judge and do not know what others are going through. People are rejected, looked down upon or are jealous of someone and they have NO idea what goes on behind closed doors, what trials they are facing or what they have or are going through. Please people do not judge – smile more, hug more, listen more, forgive more. Thankyou for this post. Asking for prayers for my husband currently fighting cancer. His name is John. God Bless!

    • Tania Reply

      Gail, I am praying for John. I cannot imagine all that you are all going through. I will pray for healing, strength, and comfort.

    • Joanne Scantlebury Reply

      Hi Gail, I follow Tanias blog as well.
      My husband went through a cancer battle 18 months ago, and it can be a lonely path.
      I had people praying for bill I didn’t even know existed.
      I’ll pray for you and John every little bit helps.
      ❤️❤️

  2. Glenda Braun Reply

    You are so right. You do not know what is going on behind the door.
    Thank you for the reminder.
    Have a great day.

  3. Teri Simmons Reply

    Thank you for your blog…I look forward to it and catch up every day or so. I’m 53 today and you remind me so much of myself! I live in VA (near Lynchburg where you attended a women’s conference once). I’m 5’6″, my ideal weight is 155-165 and am struggling to get back there! Both our initials are TS and I absolutely adore my little 2 year old grand daughter who lives nearby. I love fashion and always have…your style reminds me so much of mine…classy with a little funky! Thank you again and don’t ever stop!

  4. Amen! I’ve been praying about my judgmental attitude. Guess God decided to use you to help with that change. Thanks.

  5. Leslie Handal Reply

    I agree!!! Thank you for your beautiful writing. The world needs to remember that right now!

  6. I never envy anybody else. Because it is what you say: the grass really isn’t greener at the other side!

  7. Tania, you are not just an adorable fashion inspiration, you are an incredible MINISTER!!! 🙌❤️

  8. Gloria Randle Reply

    Years ago I asked my husband how some people I know just seemed to have the “perfect everything”. He replied you don’t see everything about them. They do not share their hurts.

  9. Maybe you were trying to keep this light but you barely scraped the surface. My husband and I watched a movie with Robert DeNerro in it this morning. Everything’s Fine. By the time it was over we were both crying. Yep, hubby too!! It was a cold reminder of what we face. I would suggest it to anyone. Of course DeNerro lets some words fly but otherwise very clean.

    On another note, I made it to glitzy girls this weekend and got me a pair of converse. Yep the 19 year old told me they look great!!! A client in the store came by, sweetly grinned, and said, they did look really cute. I took her word for it cause she was definitely more in our age group and dressed so cute!! I looked for you but Friday might have been a tad early!!

  10. Your message really touched me today. Thank you for baring your soul and helping others realize how much we need to heed His message.

  11. Beautifully written! A truth we need to hear over and over. God bless!

  12. Beautiful and so true. I need more compassion and way less judgment.
    Love your blog every day but Sunday is special. Love the way you always honor God.

  13. I thought I had compassion. I thought I didn’t judge that much. I thought I wasn’t self righteous but boy did I get a slap in the face. It took my separation and divorce to help me have more compassion, be more understanding, learn what judging someone really meant, and realized I had been self righteous at times. It has taken that storm in my life along with another personal battle I have been experiencing for six years to open my eyes. So I truly know what it means when someone says “you don’t know what happens behind closed doors” and “there are two sides of every story”. Nothing or no one is perfect but God. With all this said, I know without a doubt God is using all my pain for his glory. To help me take my mind off my troubles I decided to pray more for other people instead of myself. ~Lisa~

  14. What a great lesson, Tania! Something I needed to hear! You are so blessed to be able to take those fun fashion trips! Enjoy the scenery for me!

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